The Quest(ions)

Another piece I recently wrote for my Writers Group where the topic was Quest.

It had been 9 months since I had quit working and 5 months since I had moved back from New York City. Here I was sitting literally at the edge of a cliff in Himachal Pradesh, wondering what life had in store for me next. Not for a moment was I worried or concerned - the emotion I felt mostly was ‘excitement’.

The Big Apple was actually the beginning of my quest. On a lark and without giving it much thought, I turned in my notice at a job in Bangalore that was not just paying me extremely well, it was convenient and relatively less demanding than my previous positions. Making a lot of money had stopped being of interest to me for a while.  ‘Convenient’ and ‘undemanding’ translated to boring and a waste of my time. Having just lost my last surviving parent, being single and responsibility free, it was time to make a change, get out of the rat race and experience a life that I never had time for. 

I turned down a senior management, high paying job that was first offered to me in New York. They couldn’t understand why I wanted a pay cut and a lower position when I didn’t have to take one. I tried explaining to them that I wanted a balanced life, a job that would allow me to have time to build a relationship with the city. If I had to spend my life at airports and inside buildings or on conference calls, I was better off in Bangalore. They continued to look puzzled and I could almost read their minds which said “who turns down more money you idiot”. 

Outside my apartment building in New York

The eighteen months in New York City were life changing for me. I moved into a one-bedroom apartment by Central Park and within a week it had everything new, from the largest piece of furniture to dessert spoons. Anybody walking into that apartment would find it hard to believe that I had just moved from India. I had never fallen in love with a city until then. A city that gave me the option to do as much as I wanted. I became a member of a Journalists Association, which organized events with authors, big names in media, folks in the movie industry among others. I attended film festivals and workshops conducted by famous Hollywood directors, went to concerts, the Opera, dance performances, watched shows on Broadway, off-Broadway and off-off-Broadway. I took culinary lessons, ate street food as well as ate at the snootiest restaurants. I celebrated Thanksgiving, Christmas, Diwali, Cinco de Mayo, St. Patricks Day, Easter, Halloween, you name it. I watched the US Open, NFL and NBA games at the stadiums, threw a Super Bowl party and celebrated on the streets when the Giants won. I probably did more in that year and a half than most people do in a decade. 

While I wasn’t quite sure what I was searching for, I also knew that it was time to move on to look for something else. A purpose for the rest of my life? Possibly!

The cottage in the clouds in Himachal where I spent a few months

So I did the cliched thing and decided to spend some time in the foothills of the Himalayas. Thanks to the generosity of a friend, I had a cottage to myself at the edge of a cliff. Once there was a huge storm and I was certain that the pre-fabricated home I was in was going to be blown away and I wouldn’t have to worry about a quest any longer. However, that didn’t happen so while I was there I enjoyed a variety of seasons, I made an effort to teach the local kids English, I read, I wrote some short stories that are still sitting in my old Macbook, I travelled some and trekked a lot. What I didn’t do was meditate, which may be the reason that I didn’t get any answers. But then I wasn’t even sure what my questions were any longer, since I was in such a happy place.

One of the homes in Navadarshanam

Recently I caught up with a relatively old friend and we went over to this place called Navadarshanam to spend the weekend. In all the years that I’ve known her, I’ve never seen her so happy. It was as if she had found herself, living a vegan sustainable lifestyle in a little community, planting vegetables, playing with the newborn calf, making chappatis in the communal kitchen and singing bhajans at night, she was completely in her element. Her school kid like excitement was infectious and I was so happy that she had made this discovery.

My friend Uma with Gauri the calf in Navadarshanam

As much as I loved spending my weekend there, I was happy to be home. A while ago I gave up ‘questing’ because I realized that I already had what people quest for. It was my life and the answers had come to me during the course of my adapting to not having a routine, not earning a salary and not conforming to a ‘normal’ lifestyle. 

Never in my life have I had as much as I do now. 

Mesmerized in Mashobra

I’m sitting on the edge of a cliff. I would be intimidated if I thought about how high up I am and that if I stumble over I could be in serious trouble. So I choose not to think about it and focus on the marvels of nature and technology. Here I am in complete solitude and silence, sitting on the edge of a cliff (couldn’t help bringing that up again for effect) and am still connected to the entire world over airwaves. No less than a miracle if you ask me.

I reached the town of Mashobra, which is about an hour away from Shimla (sometimes spelt Simla) last evening. Although I’m passionate about travel, I’m not too crazy about journeys. Which is why I wasn’t particularly looking forward to the 4 ½ hour bus ride from Chandigarh to Shimla followed by an hour to Mashobra by cab. The journey actually ended up being fairly comfortable and I didn’t get impatient or irritable. The bus initially had a request show that was playing on the radio. One of the callers was a street vendor selling pani puri’s (google it, if you don’t know what that is). He was requesting a song for his wife who was perpetually mad at him because every night he would come home late from work. His reason for being late was that after he closed shop at 11 pm, he had a ‘meeting’ to go to. Unfortunately the radio jockey didn’t go into details about the meeting so I’ve been wondering ever since what this post 11 pm meeting must be about!

Mashobra was introduced to me last year by my cousin, Madhu, whose friend has an expanse of absolutely gorgeous land in the area (actually I believe she owns a hill). Thanks to the hospitality of the friend I am now in the midst of mountainous beauty. A portion of the property is used as campgrounds for folks who come to trek in the area. The first group of this year is expected next week. Should be fun for me too. While they freeze their butts out in the tents and use makeshift toilets, I’ll be sleeping comfortably in the cottage bedroom with an attached bath and running hot water.

I don’t think I’ve ever been in such complete silence. I’ve been to very quiet places several times but it’s always been with friends/family. And the people I associate with are usually anything but quiet. So here I am, all by myself, surrounded by silence. I wonder if I will get tired of it at some point.

Well, I’m actually not entirely alone. A little bit away from where I’m staying, is another cottage where the help live, consisting of 2 men both whose names are ‘Bahadur’. The older Bahadur is the boss and has his family with him. The younger one seems like the errand boy and I’m unsure of his marital status and whether his family is also here. Thanks to the two Bahadur’s, I got my meals served in my room, my clothes washed and ironed and escorted when I went out for a trek this morning! They seem a little paranoid that I’ll lose my way and they’ll lose their jobs. I’m sure I’ll manage to shake them off by tomorrow.

Mashobra has been on my mind for the past couple of months and now I’m here. I feel truly special, lucky and blessed to be in such a marvelous place, surrounded by imposing mountains. I feel so small and in a way I also feel so big. I guess it must be because both the Bahadur’s are smaller in size than I am!