Tso Moriri, Ladakh

Tso Moriri, Ladakh

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

The Cross-Dressers - A Halloween Story

Recently I watched a critically acclaimed American television show called ‘Transparent’. The story (supposedly) revolves around a 68 year old divorced man, father of 3 adult children who decides to start living his life dressed as a woman. Transvestite’s, I found out, are people who dress like, but continue to be attracted to members of the opposite sex. Not to be confused with Transgender’s, who do not live their life as their birth gender.

Sometimes I feel that critics, as well as most folks, feel compelled to like something just to be politically correct. As far as I’m concerned Transparent is probably the worst show I’ve watched this year thanks to lazy writing, an entourage of easily the most unlikeable, selfish and sometimes hateful characters with a story that is heading absolutely nowhere. The show is less about the ‘trans’ parent than it is about his three irritating kids, who have no redeeming qualities and are obsessed with having graphic sex in every 30 minute episode.

Of course it’s also possible that I don’t understand good television. But if pretentious and unlikeable characters is good, then keep me away from it. 

I’ve wasted almost 5 hours of my life watching the show - let me not waste more time writing about it. Last week when I was cleaning my apartment I found a photocopy of a  picture of my friend Rory, dressed as a woman. No Rory is not a cross-dresser or a transvestite - we were simply having some fun on a Halloween many moons ago!

Cross-Dressed for Halloween

This is when I used to work in Chicago. Each department would have a Halloween theme and I remember clear as day, a group of us standing around discussing costumes. The previous year we were in the 70’s ‘Saturday Night Fever’ type outfits and this year we had to up the scale. Ideas were being thrown around but nothing was interesting enough, when somebody suggested cross-dressing. Initially it generated much laughter but nobody took it very seriously. While we continued joking about it, no decision was made until Rory came over the next day and announced that Michelle, his wife, and he had picked up his dress and pumps! 

For me, it was, by far the funniest Halloween ever. 

We had one of the managers, Jim who came dressed as a redhead slut in a short orange skirt, fishnet stockings and two gigantic squishy balls stuffed inside his low neck blouse!

Han, the Chinese guy with almost no facial hair, fished inside his wife’s closet and wore a long elegant dress, necklace, earrings, hat and even his wife’s very girlie watch!

And while Rory, Han and Jim displayed their feminine sides,Walt, who was a much taller and much manlier version of Tom Cruise could do very little to be convincing. In his plaid skirt he simply looked like a Scotsman in a wig! 

Yours truly was not in costume though. I was traveling to India the same afternoon and used that as an excuse. But of course, I couldn’t get away with it. Someone brought a nightgown that I was made to get into and trust me, it was a very funny sight. Especially since I used to sport a mustache back then. 

The women, dressed in business suits and ties, did not make an impact. The other guys weren’t nearly as funny so I’ve erased their look from my memory. The team paraded around the entire two-floored office building amidst peals of laughter and needless to say our department won first place. I wish, I wish I had more photos. 

Before writing this piece, I sent Rory an email with his picture and asked if he was okay with me using it in my post. 

‘Who is that good looking lady?’, he wrote back.

You’re the biggest sport I’ve ever met, my friend! 

Hope y’all have a funny, scary Halloween!