Accepting 2020

Dec 31st, 2020

It’s finally December 31st, 2020. A year that has created a lot of havoc in our lives. The kind of havoc that has consumed us every single day and quite obviously something that I don’t need to get into. A year that all of humanity has wanted to end so desperately, as if it was the year that has caused this turmoil and not us humans. 

Several months ago when the virus made an appearance and we were under ‘lockdown’ (definitely a word that has never been used as much in all my living years collectively as it has in 2020), social media began getting filled with very creative videos and posts where people in the future talked about how, after the pandemic, humans became a kinder, more loving and caring breed, how they realised what their real priorities in life were etc. None of that has happened of course - we are still greedy for money, power/fame hungry and as racist and sexist as ever. Sorry to disappoint you, future humans!

As most of you are aware, travel is what I live for and 2020 has obviously been the year of least travel. I did manage to sneak in a couple of small trips to places that were within driving distance, even made it to the beach for a few hours. However, I don’t consider any of it real travel and accepted that I wasn’t going anywhere for a while. Acceptance is important as it calms you down considerably. I stopped fantasising about my future trips, as while we need something to look forward to, it also makes us frustrated, anxious and impatient about them not turning into reality as the days go by. 

If I could pick one learning from this year, it would have to be ‘acceptance’. This pandemic has proved to us that we can make all the plans we want but there is only so much that is within our control. 2020 showed us that a much larger plan was in the works that eventually affected all of us, leaving us with no option but to accept. It was up to us to whine and bitch and complain all through the acceptance. Or make peace and go along with it. 

Yesterday I was speaking to a dear friend who is a lot more social than I am (yes it’s possible) and wants his old life back of hanging out with his hundreds of close friends! On the other hand, I feel like I’ve got into this groove where I meet my friends and family a lot less than I used to, but still enough to feel energised and satisfied. And while I’m not a lover of routine, I feel fortunate to be someone with enough interests that make each day different from the previous one, even if it is in a small way. A lot of this has happened because I accepted the situation and focussed on today without thinking about tomorrow, next week, next month or next year. We’ve heard about the present being our present enough times. It’s only lately that I’ve truly begun experiencing it and realising that living in the present can actually be pretty damn cool, even within the confines of our current limitations. 

Yes this year has been extremely harsh with death, disease, job losses and many more struggles. So for those of us that have made it this far, we really do have much to be thankful for and to keep ourselves going. If we think about it, each one of us can come up with a list of blessings that were favoured upon us. As the calendar year changes, let the previous year be a reminder of the many lessons that we’ve learned and how they will help us become stronger and hopefully better people in the future. Let us not forget, even for a moment, how fortunate each one of us is in so many ways.

So as I sign out, wishing every one of you health and peace in all the coming years, I’ll end with a little quote that I made up about how it’s eventually up to us to make our lives better.

Let the Past make you smile 

Let the Future keep you excited 

And most importantly

Let the Present make you shine

Each one of us can do our bit to make the world, our world a better place. Happy 2021 and much love!

I'll Have Another Adventure (To Go) Please

Who would have thought that a time would come when almost everybody across the globe would pretty much be living the same life, masked in some kind of viral terror, wanting for human contact and appreciative but tired of having to depend upon technology to get through the day. Welcome to life in the times of covid-19.

In India, as we enter into the fourth month of this new way of life, I am wondering how I will get through the next who-knows-how-many-more-months before life returns to the way I have seemingly recklessly lived it. Yes recklessly hugging my family and friends, sharing food out of the same plate, crammed into a car, shaking hands with people I’ve never met before, travelling without a care - is life as we knew it only in the past now?

When the lockdown began, I really didn’t give it much thought. I was grateful that unlike 4 years ago when I was recovering from an accident that had me laid up in bed, I was able to move around and take care of myself. I began cooking new and fun dishes, the camera came out of its bag after a couple of years and within the limitations of my confine I took so many photographs, I wrote short pieces and sent them out to my contacts on the phone, I began my vocal lessons using YouTube - the days were flying by. Until the enthusiasm died and I didn’t care about what I ate, ran out of subjects to photograph, couldn’t think of anything to write and stopped singing. I desperately needed to go on a trip but while I had begun stepping out of my home and meeting a person or two here and there, spending an hour or so at the mostly empty cafe, I was aware that I wasn’t going anywhere further. 

Each time I start to feel low, I begin thinking about how my life has been so full of adventure. Sometimes I feel like I have lived so many different lives in just this one, with the best memories of growing up in Calcutta, building my career amongst the most wonderful people I came across in Chicago, my return to the motherland in a whole new city, Bangalore, the love affair with New York City, living up on a high rise in Hong Kong followed by a higher rise in the mountainous state of Himachal. 

With the close shaves I’ve had with death, I’ve never believed in having a ‘bucket list’ - if there was a place I wanted to visit, there was no waiting to do it. I’ve never planned too far ahead - a few months at the most and in the past 3 years - it probably has been no more than 2 months. Having chosen to retire at a younger age and being single, I had the freedom to do things without having to wait, uncaring about how many vacation days I had left and because I rarely travelled lavishly, without having to worry about whether I could afford it.

Every travel adventure I have had has the people I met associated with it. Like there was this time in Granada, Spain when I was walking around with a map, no data on my phone, completely lost. A young girl travelling from the US, equally lost, also not speaking a word of Spanish, ended up spending the afternoon with me, having lunch at a charming Turkish restaurant and finding our way back to our respective Airbnb’s. Or the artist that was selling his paintings at San Marco Square in Venice, who, after exchanging many laughs together, took me to his favourite pizzeria for dinner. Or the quirky camel rider in Jaisalmer, who invited me to his home in the middle of the desert to meet his family and who I am still in touch with on a regular basis. 

How can I not be thankful for the adventure of starting a cafe from scratch, the freedom to run it the way I want, without the financial worry? For being a part of the short film that I had a hand in. Sometimes I feel like I’m the luckiest person with life having given all kinds of opportunities to do the things that I used to always fantasise about.

These stories and so many, many more have given me the most heartwarming memories that can actually help me get through the rest of my days. There is absolutely nothing I would change about my past, including the accidents, a life threatening illness, being almost pushed out of a running train and being a hostage in a bank robbery, as every one of those experiences has changed my life in positive ways. 

Thanks to my semi-vagabond lifestyle that has had me believe that my home is where I am at the present time, I feel all the more restless and imprisoned. Making it even more important to keep the memories of all these adventures alive and hoping that things will get back to the way they were. Where I can once again eat a meal with a stranger sitting just two feet away, where I can breathe without a mask on, where I can leave the house without worrying about getting sick. 

I hope that each and every one of you, who is most likely leading a life very similar to mine, is able to stay happy, to drive away any anxiety that you may be experiencing from time to time, to appreciate all that you have now, the life you’ve lived so far and to believe that you and the rest of us will come out of this stronger and a better version of ourselves. 

Who knows what life has in store but I am certainly ready for a new adventure. An adventure that is a lot less restricting than this current one.