Finding La-La Land

“And in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make” - The Beatles

In my dream last night I was at the doctor’s office. I had gone there to pick up some test results and was told that I had 6 weeks to live. When the physician broke the news to me, I had around me, a few members from my family, a couple of  my co-workers from Chicago, who I am not even in touch with and Leonardo DiCaprio. 

Somewhere in my sub-conscience, I knew that this was a dream and I wanted to wake up, but wasn’t able to. When I finally did open my eyes, I didn’t necessarily feel a sense of relief about the death sentence not being real. Instead I began to think about my life, as it stands today and how I would change it if I knew that the end was near. 

Last month I discontinued my subscription to the newspaper. The reason being that I no longer wanted to begin my day reading about dirty politicians, accidents, lost planes, murders, rapes, global warming, etc. Maybe if they come up with a publication that has stories about the good instead of the bad, a ‘Good News’ paper, I would want to have it in my home.

From my Facebook newsfeed, I’ve hidden the friends that spread gloom through their postings. Or try to influence me with their political or other viewpoints. Believe it or don’t, but I do happen to have a mind of my own. As far as I’m concerned if you’re not using Facebook for entertainment purposes, then sooner or later you will go from being hidden to being unfriended. 

In the real world, I’ve distanced myself from several people that were once a part of my life. Those obsessed with money, those who have the rich as role models, those who don’t bring anything positive into my life, people who take me for granted, who have trouble laughing, who are narrow minded or close minded, who are living in a time warp, whiners, fake people, fanatics, cynics, know-it-alls, glass-is-always-half-empty types etc. Been nice for too long, I now need to be free from the likes of such. It’s a miracle that I still have friends!

I used to be but have now stopped being concerned about who likes me and who doesn’t. I try to be a good person, try not to hurt anyone, try not to get angry, not be judgmental, spiteful, but sometimes I screw up. The day I achieve Nirvana I will stop (screwing up). Until then, feel free to not like me. 

I’ve become a lot less dependent on people. If I want to watch a movie, I don’t think twice about walking over to the theater by myself. If I’m in the mood for a slice of banoffee pie at a local cafe, I have no trouble enjoying every bite of it at a table by myself. I’ve stopped consulting anyone and make my own decisions, even if they happen to be wrong. I’ve made peace with squabbles within the family and between friends. Get along, don’t get along, it’s your life and not mine. 

I spend my time doing the things I love, travel being on the top of my list. I am at my happiest when I travel to a new place or to a beautiful place or to a place that has special memories. I sleep guilt-free as much as I want. I eat the foods I love, I entertain at home, my workouts give me positive energy as well as some time to hang out with my gym buddies, I recently began meditating, I constantly meet new people and then there are times when I shut everyone out and just enjoy being by myself to read and write and sing and watch television.

So after lounging around in bed for quite a while and after much introspection, I came to the conclusion if I had 6 weeks to live I would squeeze in a couple of trips, eat all the foods I love, have a big farewell party and hang out with people that make me laugh. So pretty much continue to live the way that I do now. I’ve found my la-la land and am constantly discovering that it’s a great place to be in. 

I’m not in the least bit concerned about my morning dream coming true but I seriously wish I could figure out what the heck DiCaprio was doing in it.