It’s been a while since I wrote anything. I hope that you’ve noticed. I know that some of my readers have noticed and have wanted to know why. There is however, no reason. Except that I’ve been too busy traveling and cooking. And lazing. Which in all honesty accounts for most of my time.
Those of you associated with me on facebook or those of you that are actually in touch with me, are aware of my travels and experiments in the kitchen. Unless you’re a facebook friend that has ‘hidden’ me, ‘blocked’ me or someone who just whizzes past my status updates and pictures. In which case you’re probably not reading this piece. And if you are, I whizz past your status updates too. So there!
The first six months of my 2010 were spent writing my first ever script. Towards the end of those six months I went through narrating it to various people and every time I did, I felt less comfortable with it. So I decided to take some time off and come back to it with a fresh perspective. I hadn’t counted on taking 7 months off but I couldn’t really help it. I was having too much fun. And I excelled even more at being lazy.
Having just returned from my holiday in Kolkata, I have now decided that enough is enough. I must begin writing again. Correction. I must begin re-writing again. Make my script more interesting, change the personality of one of my protagonists, add some mystery to it. The intent is good. The mind needs to work creatively.
The past 4 days I’ve been watching movies like there’s no tomorrow. Good movies. Bad movies. Ugly movies. Hoping to learn something from each one of them. What works and what doesn’t. Most of the time I’m going, ‘edit that scene dammit!’, ‘too much conversation ... losing interest’, ‘the dialogues suck!’, ‘the script needs to be tighter’, ‘could you end this movie already?’ and then once in a while ‘what a brilliant scene’, ‘perfect characterization’ etc. etc.
Sigh. I may never get done with my movie. My expectations are too high. I demand too much from myself. My mind is too damn critical. I will NOT be associated with yet another crappy movie!
"Calm down", I tell myself (yes, I admit that I speak to myself). "Do the best you can and put it out there"
"But .. what if everyone hates it"
"They wont"
"But what if they do?"
"People who like you will pretend to like your movie"
"But I’ll see through their insincerity. You know I will"
"Well .. then ..."
"What???"
"Just go into hibernation. Don’t show your face to anyone after that"
I guess I could do that. Or maybe I could get a new identity and a new face. A sharper nose for sure. Could I maybe get a new body? Taller body? It would be completely worth it. And fun too. I’d lead a whole new life. Imagine starting out afresh. This could really work. Either way I win.
So dear reader, I must end this piece now and go back to my half-assed script. None of us know what the outcome of this exercise will be. Whether I will ever get done. And if I do, will I find someone to make the movie. And it can’t be just anyone. It has to be somebody good or nobody at all. Will the movie work? Will everyone love it? Or will everyone hate it? Or will some people love it and some people hate it? And some people simply like it? Will I walk the red carpet? Will I win an award? I have no frigging idea. All I know for sure is that I’m going to have more than a good time through the process.
And if I do end up becoming famous, I’m going to get myself a whole new set of friends.
