Every year on Mother’s Day I plan to write a piece about my mom. The reason I end up not writing it is I’m afraid that the outcome will be sappy, which I don’t want it to be. Yes, it would be quite easy for me to do a lump-in-the-throat-post that will talk about several tender memories, which will get the reader all emotional, after which they will post a comment saying how sweet the piece was.
Being the youngest of five siblings meant that my mom had me quite late in her child-bearing life. As a result, my dad and mom often felt like something between parents and grandparents to me. I’m trying to come up with a clever name for this relationship but my mind is drawing a complete blank.
My mother, who also happened to be born on this date, May 9th, was all of 4 foot 10 at her tallest. As she grew older, she began shrinking, with the result that I, who by no means am I tall man, began towering over her. My parents used to live with me in Chicago and I remember one time my dad’s colleague came over to our apartment. She took one look at my mom, gave her an enormous hug and said ‘I never thought of myself as a giant!’
The first impression that my mom gave to most people was of a warm and affectionate little lady who cooked great meals, who was a dutiful wife/mother and who lived in the shadows of my dad. Ha! Those people could not be more wrong! And although my mom was sweet and loving and warm and affectionate, they hadn't been privy to the feisty woman behind that calm exterior.
Any time there was an ugly situation that involved anyone in the family, she would be in the front, fighting for one of us. When my dad, who owned a factory that was heavily labor intensive, ran into financial trouble and wasn’t able to pay his employees, my mom was the one who broke the news to them, built a case and asked for more time. When she didn’t have enough money to run the house, she was out there, pawning her jewelry , borrowing money and never letting us feel like we were in any kind of trouble.
Not only did she bring up five children in her home, for many years she even managed a couple of hundred more as the Principal of a school. In her fifties she studied Homeopathy and began working in a charitable clinic.
She threw great dinner parties, right from intimate meals for a few to catering for a hundred people on my tenth birthday and a hundred and fifty guests at her own daughter’s wedding! Now that you have to admit is unique!
My mother was the most social person I knew. Growing up in Calcutta, she knew everyone that lived in our neighborhood and if she didn’t know them, they knew her. When I bought my home in a primarily white neighborhood in Chicago, it took her no time to get to know the neighbors. She never got fazed by her accent, the fact that she was the only saree wearing woman or that even ten year olds were taller than her. One evening when she and I were out for a walk, I was amazed at her being greeted with a ‘Hi Champa!‘ by both children and adults. Not just amazed, I was impressed and proud.
I could keep bragging about my mother but I don’t want to overdose my readers!
My mother went through a very hard time the last three years of her life. It was a big chore for us to get her to eat anything. Anything besides puchkas/pani puris, which was something that would always light up her eyes!
I’m celebrating her birthday this evening with her favorite treat. And I’m pretty sure she’ll be out there watching and getting a taste of it too!
Happy Mother’s Day to all you lovely, feisty mothers out there!
Being the youngest of five siblings meant that my mom had me quite late in her child-bearing life. As a result, my dad and mom often felt like something between parents and grandparents to me. I’m trying to come up with a clever name for this relationship but my mind is drawing a complete blank.
My mother, who also happened to be born on this date, May 9th, was all of 4 foot 10 at her tallest. As she grew older, she began shrinking, with the result that I, who by no means am I tall man, began towering over her. My parents used to live with me in Chicago and I remember one time my dad’s colleague came over to our apartment. She took one look at my mom, gave her an enormous hug and said ‘I never thought of myself as a giant!’
The first impression that my mom gave to most people was of a warm and affectionate little lady who cooked great meals, who was a dutiful wife/mother and who lived in the shadows of my dad. Ha! Those people could not be more wrong! And although my mom was sweet and loving and warm and affectionate, they hadn't been privy to the feisty woman behind that calm exterior.
Any time there was an ugly situation that involved anyone in the family, she would be in the front, fighting for one of us. When my dad, who owned a factory that was heavily labor intensive, ran into financial trouble and wasn’t able to pay his employees, my mom was the one who broke the news to them, built a case and asked for more time. When she didn’t have enough money to run the house, she was out there, pawning her jewelry , borrowing money and never letting us feel like we were in any kind of trouble.
Not only did she bring up five children in her home, for many years she even managed a couple of hundred more as the Principal of a school. In her fifties she studied Homeopathy and began working in a charitable clinic.
She threw great dinner parties, right from intimate meals for a few to catering for a hundred people on my tenth birthday and a hundred and fifty guests at her own daughter’s wedding! Now that you have to admit is unique!
My mother was the most social person I knew. Growing up in Calcutta, she knew everyone that lived in our neighborhood and if she didn’t know them, they knew her. When I bought my home in a primarily white neighborhood in Chicago, it took her no time to get to know the neighbors. She never got fazed by her accent, the fact that she was the only saree wearing woman or that even ten year olds were taller than her. One evening when she and I were out for a walk, I was amazed at her being greeted with a ‘Hi Champa!‘ by both children and adults. Not just amazed, I was impressed and proud.
I could keep bragging about my mother but I don’t want to overdose my readers!
My mother went through a very hard time the last three years of her life. It was a big chore for us to get her to eat anything. Anything besides puchkas/pani puris, which was something that would always light up her eyes!
I’m celebrating her birthday this evening with her favorite treat. And I’m pretty sure she’ll be out there watching and getting a taste of it too!
Happy Mother’s Day to all you lovely, feisty mothers out there!
11 comments:
Kudos to an amazing woman who reared a son in her likeness!
:) adorable. i happened to share a puchka evening with this fine woman & got a tender blessing on my choora. i am sure she`s always by you.
Nice! Whatever little I knew of nani ma, I just cant forget how much she wanted to attend kanu's wedding and dance in it too...I wish she would have been there...love to her always !!
Hi Ratan,
A very nice write-up on Aunty Champa, indeed. She was a delightfully charming, warm and loving lady.
Ever since late 1968 when I first met the Sethi family and there after became a regular visitor in New Alipur, Calcutta, Napier, Chicago and finally in Bangalore, I always got a warm, cheerful & loving welcome from her. Though tiny in size, she was a pillar of strength for you siblings. Rgds.
Venkat.
Dear Ratan,
I know you didn't want to hear any "how sweet that was" emails, but I can't help it. My mother was an angel standing only 4' 10" also and I couldn't help but relate. She also died far too young for my taste. I miss her more than anyone who has left me. I don't think you are ever ready to lose you mother especially if you are blessed with a really good one. Thanks for helping me to remember mine. Love, Jackie
Ratan - Beautiful not sappy and makes me understand you more. It's a tough day for those of us who have lost our mother. This helps. I think your mom and mine would have gotten along famously!THANX! Susan
That was lovely Ratan. Very moving, and very well written.
Thankyou Ratan..for reminding us that all our mothers are feisty women! I am still amazed at the energy my mother has. She works 7 days a week, and yet has the time for her old aunts and uncles, my kids and all her kid fans! (my mum is a pediatrician and spends more that 80% of her time with very poor patients!). Hopefully five decades from now, my kids will think the same of me. :)
she indeed has been one feisty woman! if one word was to be used to describe her, it'd be feisty, allright. of course, a very affectionate, full-of-life person with not a single dull moment in her life. i always liked her through childhood, but the time i grew very fond of her was during the brief 3 months i lived in b'lore and visited both of u often. i felt her warmth and care the most during that time. i felt comforted by her mere presence. and i remember, she used to keep checking with me on whether i'd eaten.. it brings a smile to my face even today..
let me just add that i have seen the two of you together at ur home and i used to and still totally love the unique bond you two shared. god bless u both! luvualways.
Thanks for all your appreciative comments!
Reading this makes me miss her more.. She was an angel.. It was a blessing to have spent sometime with her.. She was a strong woman with so much love to give. The best thing that i always admired was her love for you and your love for her.
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