Accepting 2020

Dec 31st, 2020

It’s finally December 31st, 2020. A year that has created a lot of havoc in our lives. The kind of havoc that has consumed us every single day and quite obviously something that I don’t need to get into. A year that all of humanity has wanted to end so desperately, as if it was the year that has caused this turmoil and not us humans. 

Several months ago when the virus made an appearance and we were under ‘lockdown’ (definitely a word that has never been used as much in all my living years collectively as it has in 2020), social media began getting filled with very creative videos and posts where people in the future talked about how, after the pandemic, humans became a kinder, more loving and caring breed, how they realised what their real priorities in life were etc. None of that has happened of course - we are still greedy for money, power/fame hungry and as racist and sexist as ever. Sorry to disappoint you, future humans!

As most of you are aware, travel is what I live for and 2020 has obviously been the year of least travel. I did manage to sneak in a couple of small trips to places that were within driving distance, even made it to the beach for a few hours. However, I don’t consider any of it real travel and accepted that I wasn’t going anywhere for a while. Acceptance is important as it calms you down considerably. I stopped fantasising about my future trips, as while we need something to look forward to, it also makes us frustrated, anxious and impatient about them not turning into reality as the days go by. 

If I could pick one learning from this year, it would have to be ‘acceptance’. This pandemic has proved to us that we can make all the plans we want but there is only so much that is within our control. 2020 showed us that a much larger plan was in the works that eventually affected all of us, leaving us with no option but to accept. It was up to us to whine and bitch and complain all through the acceptance. Or make peace and go along with it. 

Yesterday I was speaking to a dear friend who is a lot more social than I am (yes it’s possible) and wants his old life back of hanging out with his hundreds of close friends! On the other hand, I feel like I’ve got into this groove where I meet my friends and family a lot less than I used to, but still enough to feel energised and satisfied. And while I’m not a lover of routine, I feel fortunate to be someone with enough interests that make each day different from the previous one, even if it is in a small way. A lot of this has happened because I accepted the situation and focussed on today without thinking about tomorrow, next week, next month or next year. We’ve heard about the present being our present enough times. It’s only lately that I’ve truly begun experiencing it and realising that living in the present can actually be pretty damn cool, even within the confines of our current limitations. 

Yes this year has been extremely harsh with death, disease, job losses and many more struggles. So for those of us that have made it this far, we really do have much to be thankful for and to keep ourselves going. If we think about it, each one of us can come up with a list of blessings that were favoured upon us. As the calendar year changes, let the previous year be a reminder of the many lessons that we’ve learned and how they will help us become stronger and hopefully better people in the future. Let us not forget, even for a moment, how fortunate each one of us is in so many ways.

So as I sign out, wishing every one of you health and peace in all the coming years, I’ll end with a little quote that I made up about how it’s eventually up to us to make our lives better.

Let the Past make you smile 

Let the Future keep you excited 

And most importantly

Let the Present make you shine

Each one of us can do our bit to make the world, our world a better place. Happy 2021 and much love!

2018 - The Year that Was

Each time we enter into a new calendar year, we tend to reflect upon the one that just went by. Or at least I do. And my verdict for 2018 is that personally, it was a pretty good year for me. I ended the past year with my friends in Kolkata, with laughter, food and travel and began this year with a minor surgery, left over from the accident I had a couple of years ago and something I had been putting off for a while. 

Bringing in the new year with friends

This information was shared with you, not to get sympathy or attention (honestly!) but to talk a little about how working on my mind the past 2 years has helped me to treat the entire hospital episode as just another day (or two) in my life. Of course, the fact that it was a minor surgical procedure helped but it’s never fun to be in an institution where everyone is broken or ill. Or being under the knife. Thankfully I stayed calm through the two days earlier this week, slept like a baby (without aid) and enjoyed the surprisingly good hospital food!

Now going back to last year - it really was a landmark year of sorts for me as I officially got into the ‘feeding’ industry. When I met Ranjeet almost exactly a year ago at the Kolkata airport, I honestly did not think that I would be running a brand new cafe, with so much of ‘me’ in it. While I’ve always enjoyed cooking, feeding and taking culinary lessons, it was always treated as a hobby. In 2018 it became more than that.

Close to my heart - Terra Bites

Cooking for family and friends, and cooking for strangers who are paying for their meals, is like night and day. The former will always appreciate whatever you lay out in front of them, many people from the latter group will try and find fault with everything. Believe me when I tell you that it’s really hard to be judged constantly. 

Thankfully and knock on wood, the response by and large has been fantastic. There will always be some I won’t please, regardless of what I do but as long as I’m seeing happy faces leave the cafe, many of who are returning often, I am nothing short of thrilled. That’s all I’m going to say about it right now because although I’m working on eliminating fear from my mind, I am still afraid to jinx it!! 

Besides the cafe, the year also had me being involved in a story I had written that a friend of mine, Aditya, wanted to turn into a short film. Writing the screenplay together and then being a part of the shoot was an experience that has made me understand films from a completely different perspective. Hopefully the movie will be released for all of you to watch sometime in the early part of this year. 

Coming soon - Fingers crossed!

Although I travelled a fair amount, it took a little bit of a backseat due to these other activities. After three years I went back to my favourite place, Ladakh, and got close to the mountains that I so dearly love. A trip to Varkala during the devastating floods in Kerala, made me realise once again how vulnerable we are to losing our lives. 

Ah Ladakh! How I had missed you

And I have to thank this vulnerability, that I experienced all through 2016, for helping me turn my life around. To do the things I kept putting off, where I can proudly say that I’ve mostly overcome this disease called procrastination. Where into my middle ages I feel like I’m starting life once again, being thankful for every opportunity to learn, grow and enjoy from what life throws my way. My goal for this year is to forget the meaning of fear. 

Once upon a time, when I was a young boy, my dad had my palm read by an ‘expert’. While I have no recollection of what he predicted from those lines, the one thing that (strangely) stayed with me was that I would become famous in the food industry. I’ve always wondered why this piece of information made such an impact, even at that age, that I never forgot about it. And although I have no interest in fame, I think I would like to feed more people and have them appreciate and enjoy what comes out of a kitchen that I may run. 

None of us know what’s in store for us this year, this month, tomorrow or even the next moment. I’ve given up making plans for the future and have never believed in having a bucket list. The future is now and the bucket is going to get kicked in any case. Make the most of the present and have a rocking 2019!

Resolutions Schmesolutions

I had every intention of writing this piece and posting it before the end of the year. But procrastination always seems to win over intention. So here I am writing at the end of the first week of January 2018 instead. Can you believe that we’re in 2018 already? And a whole week has gone by? Fifty one more to go and it’ll all begin once again. 

I’m not one for making new year resolutions. Though I’m starting to think that it probably would be a good idea to make one this year. ‘Stop procrastinating’ is apt, don’t you think? Although there is something I read many years ago that said, ‘why do something today that you can put off until tomorrow’. Made complete sense and became my mantra ever since. I was probably procrastinating even before I read that, but once something gets presented in a profound written form, it then turns into an endorsement. 

How about you? Have you made any resolutions for 2018? Besides the one where you’re going to join the gym and lose weight. So I’ve been more than a gym member for many years - I’ve actually used my membership and worked out at the gym. Yes, it’s completely true. So every year I’d be at Gold’s Gym and in January I’d see all these people who had made resolutions and the gym would become annoyingly busy. All these people who’d be huffing and puffing on those cardio machines, most of who would stop showing up by February and the rest by March. And then there’d be the same few of us, a happier lot, serious about staying fit, glad to be rid of the riff raff. 

But then who am I to make fun of anyone? I haven’t been to the gym in 2 years but then at least I don’t belong to one any longer. If I was to make a resolution on that front, it would be to not get fatter this year.

So I stopped writing this piece for a moment and googled to see what the most popular new year resolutions are for 2018. Number 1 is ‘exercise more’ which I’ve already covered. Number 2 is ‘lose weight’ which I think pretty much is the reason that most people resolve to exercise. Number 3 is ‘eat more healthy’. This is one that I could have on my resolution list. Except that I need to add a caveat to it and say ‘eat healthy when possible’. 

Number 5 (I’m skipping 4 because it’s related to the previous ones, blah blah) is ‘learn a new skill or hobby’. Maybe I could learn a new language - Spanish or Japanese. Wait, I already tried that and put if off for later. Is now later or is later still later?

Number 8 is ‘drink less alcohol’. How less is less? Am i drinking too much now? I don’t think so. This resolution is obviously for the regularly sloshed drinker (which I am not) and not the occasionally sloshed drinker (which I may be, but I’m not saying).

Number 9 is ‘stop smoking’. I don’t smoke cigarettes, which is what I assume that this resolution is referring to. The other stuff is too good to give up.

And finally Number 10 is ‘other’. Which I guess my ‘stop procrastinating’ would fall under. It just sounds too painful. I guess I’ll just wait until 2019 to do it. 

I’d love to hear about your resolutions, if you’ve made any. Meanwhile, have a great year, dear reader!

In with the New

2009 was the first full year I spent not working towards making money. It’s been nineteen months since I quit my job. A job that provided me with a monthly salary, health insurance, airline miles, hotel points and the choice to live in New York. That choice of living in Manhattan, having a one-bedroom apartment with a nice address, fine dining, theater, sporting events etc. was lost the day I decided that working in the IT profession was too high a price to pay. I stayed back on for four more months until my savings depleted away to nothing.

Moving back to Bangalore was tough, to put in mildly. Way tougher than I had expected. Way, way tougher than it had been moving from Chicago in spite of having lived there much longer. I was in the biggest funk, completely unable to shake off the Big Apple from my system. In a few choice words, 2009 started for me with a whole lot of whining, complaining, bitching, moaning and groaning.

Thankfully 2009 ended for me in a very different way. The city was the same in January last year, when it had annoyed me to no end, as it was in December, when I was happy to call it 'home' again. Over the course of the year, my many journeys and the experiences I had, taught me to accept my surroundings and focus on what I had, instead of what I could’ve had. After all, no one had twisted my arm and made me quit my job! As much as I wanted to have the most decadent chocolate cake, I couldn’t possibly eat the entire thing too. Something had to give. In this case it was my ‘attitude’!

My time in the Himalayas gave me a better understanding of who I am as an individual. Not as a son, a brother or a friend. It also made me appreciate the little things, through the eyes of the children that lived close by and were pretty much the only company I had. It took three months of solitude for me to be bored with myself. Three months is a long time. I could very easily bore most people in less than a few hours. Or even during the course of reading this piece.

Summer of 2009 in New York made me realize that as much as I loved the city, I missed the proximity of family. My sister who used to live in New Jersey had moved from there and that had created a vacuum-of-sorts. In some inexplicable way, this time I felt a little disconnected. Was it the superficiality or had I really moved on? I know I will never stop loving New York (in fact I’m already planning my next visit there) but it seemed like the honeymoon was over. My next visit will tell for sure!

My ten weeks in Hong Kong reminded me of the importance of being healthy. And as long as we have our health, we must make the most of it. My cousin, who is bravely going through a rough period of illness, is an example of having the right attitude. If she can smile her way through her discomfort, what the heck do I have to bitch about?

And finally after bonding with family and friends in Delhi, Chandigarh, Chicago, Chennai and Coimbatore (city names that start with a 'C' were obviously very popular in 09!) over the course of the year, I came back to Bangalore, the city with near-perfect weather and where my year began. I’ve gone from war-zone streets by my previous apartment to torn-up sidewalks by the current one. The street widening, laying new drains and other such projects have a way of following me. Maybe I’m being put to the test except that I haven’t figured out why. I do however know that I’m not going to let it bring me down. Because this is the new me. The non-whiner, non-bitcher, non-complainer, non-moaner and non-groaner.

I have a really good feeling about 2010. There’s so much I’ve planned to do. I want to
Write a lot
Experiment with gourmet cooking
Travel to places I’ve never been to before
Stop Procrastinating
Get fitter
Laugh more
Spend quality time with family
Make new friends and keep the old ones
… more

Not to forget, somewhere along the way, figure out a way to pay for all of this. Minor details.

I doubt if I’ve had such high expectations from any year in the past. And I also know that things don’t happen on their own. So I guess it must be that I feel so ready to make a dent. I’m sure each one of you also has lots to look forward to. So let’s work towards it and make it a landmark 2010.

Happy New Year!