Conversations - One Isn't a Lonely Number

Hey, I’ve been trying to reach you for a while

Really? The phone’s right next to me

Are you home?

No. I was supposed to meet this friend at a cafe close to home. But he had to cancel at the last moment

So where are you then?

At the cafe

Alone?

No. There are actually quite a few people here

You know that’s not what I’m asking

Yes I’m here by myself

Smartass

(pauses)

So why are you still there if this ‘friend’ didn’t show up?

Why shouldn’t I be?

Isn’t it weird?

Isn’t what weird?

(sighs)

To be alone … I mean ‘by yourself’ at a cafe. Don’t you feel like a loser?

And why are you being so difficult?

I’m not being difficult. I’m just trying to understand what the issue is.

Is it because I’m a woman?

Well … I wouldn’t go to a cafe by myself. It’s usually a place to hang out with someone over a coffee or something

Actually, I’m looking around me and there are 4 other single person tables

Four more weirdos

Have you considered that maybe you’re the weird one?

If I went to a cafe by myself, I’d be uncomfortably staring at my phone the entire time.

Is that what you’re doing?

Kinda hard to stare at my phone and speak to you at the same time.

But then you’re probably the guy who can’t watch a movie in the theatre by himself.

Absolutely not! Can you?

I do it all the time

You watch movies alone?

By myself, yes. I prefer it that way

How come I didn’t know this about you until now?

Maybe because you love to talk about yourself all the time?

That wasn’t very nice. Maybe true. But not nice

(laughs)

Shall I come over?

Why? To rescue me?

You sound like you could use some company

Actually I’m having a really good time, hanging out by myself. 

You should try it sometime

No way! So what were you doing before I called?

Waiting for you to call!

Really?

No idiot. Not really!

I was drinking my chai, having a slice of cake and thinking about stuff

What kind of stuff?

Stuff that I’d rather not share with you

Why not? Who would you rather share them with

They’re private thoughts. I’d rather not share them with anyone actually

What kind of private thoughts?

Private thoughts that I don’t want to share. Remember?

So how long are you going to be there?

Until I’m done thinking

Tell me where you are. I want to come think with you

Only on one condition

What?

We’ll do our thinking at separate tables