The Dying Art of Eating without Guilt

Quite honestly, I’m super tired of conversations revolving around what people are not eating. 

“17 days of no sugar” (as I’m on my second chocolate tart)

“I’ve given up gluten” (where's my toasted sour dough bread with loads of butter?)

“It’s my 1 year anniversary of turning vegan” (are we celebrating that now?)

“No carbs for me please” (no rice? what do I eat my curry with then?)

Imagine going for a meal with one of these people (I hope my vegetarian-turned-vegan-off-gluten friends aren’t reading this). I’ve learned the hard way to not get annoyed though, by pretending that I’m at the table by myself. In fact I’ve now made it a fun activity by ordering all the ‘wrong’ things when I’m with the people eating ‘right’. 

I have to say that, having grown up with parents with healthy habits (more dad than mom), such as eating early, consuming balanced, mostly vegetarian meals, lectures at the table when we kids would refuse to eat something that didn’t taste good but was good for us … you get the gist, I’ve been brainwashed into eating right most of the time. 

‘Most of the time’ is the key phrase here. There was the usual cheating with deep fried foods, desserts (Bengali sweets are healthy is what we believed) etc. Eating out was never healthy - you ate what you desired without a second thought. Ice-cream sundaes and Flury’s cakes were not frowned upon. Binge eating happened at the big festivals and birthdays. My parents lived fairly healthy and long lives until almost the end. 

The other day this girl, who’s a regular at the cafe and who is always careful about what she eats, said to me.

“I’ve been fantasising about your carrot pineapple cake for weeks now,” she said.

“So what’s stopping you from eating it?” I asked.

It was the calories, the sugar, the cream cheese frosting that looked so decadent.

I thought about it for a second, wanting to somehow convince her to eat it. 

“Well,” I started off saying. “I’m not going to push you to order it but if you do decide to, it’s very important that you eat it with a 100% pleasure and 0% guilt. Otherwise it just won’t taste good.”

She laughed and asked if I would sit with her while she ate it. It may sound like a strange request but I totally got it. Pretending however, to not have got it, I looked at her questioningly. 

“If you sit with me, it’ll be a constant reminder of what you just said about eating without guilt,” she said to me. 

“How about I join you with a slice of my own?” I asked, suddenly wanting cake.

Her eyes lit up. “That would be awesome!”

A second later she added, “I’m paying for your slice too.”

I laughed and asked her why she would do that.

“You’re eating that cake to help me enjoy my slice more. It’s only fair that it should be my treat. I absolutely insist.”

So we ordered an extremely generous slice of cake each and savoured each bite together.

“I’ll never forget this cake,” she said as she licked her spoon. “It’s been a while since I ate dessert without guilt.”

“Tastes a lot better, doesn’t it?” It was a rhetorical question of course. The pleasure on her face was telling me all. 

While writing this, I got really hungry and decided to treat myself to a bacon and cheese frittata. 

Yeah I know it’ll kill me. Just like living will. 

When Sharing isn't Caring - A Facebook Story

It isn’t that old, but I’m going to reminisce about the good old days of Facebook, when there was no Share button. Yes my Facebook child, I’ve seen those days and they were pretty wonderful. 

The Share button basically is how we used to get spammed with Forward’s on email. I’m sure every one of you remembers those. Wake up each morning to a bunch of emails with jokes, inspirational quotes, why bananas and cucumbers are good for you, why you shouldn’t drink Coke (it’s always Coke and never Pepsi), 10 exercises that will give you 6 pack abs, 15 places to see in Bolivia, 20 ways to avoid getting diarrhea ... you get the gist. Basically those emails that you never read are now ‘shares’ on Facebook and even if I scan past them, I sort of know what they are about.

So now you have a picture of a girl who wants 10,000 shares and 1 million likes for her father who has cancer. How is that helping in treating the disease? And if I don’t share or like the picture, will her father get sicker? 

You have the person who shares a picture saying that if you have a parent/sibling/child/nephew/niece/neighbour’s dog that you love, you should let the world know. If I don’t share it, does it mean that I don’t love my neighbour’s dog? 

The vegetarian who tells you how awful you are because you’re eating meat. Yes I’m aware that a couple of days every week I turn into a monster.

The vegan who tells you that being vegetarian isn’t enough. Stop consuming dairy. Oh wait, I’m a monster every single day of my miserable existence.

The organic eater who tells me that I’m going to die. I already know that I’m going to die. Does this mean that I’m going to organic hell? 

The Inspirational Quote post-er(s), who tells me that I should be nice all the time (because being nice doesn’t mean I’m weak), forgive everyone I know, that I should be outside jumping in puddles while it’s raining, make others happy (because that in turn will make me happy and of course it’s eventually all about me), blah blah blah. Yeah I get it. I haven’t lost my memory that I need to be reminded every single day. 

The one(s) who are constantly saying that they are going to do whatever the hell they want regardless of what anyone else thinks. Do it, don’t post it. 

And then the one’s who change their diets based upon the latest studies. And want you to do the same. Eating carbs makes you fat (no carbs for me). Not eating carbs makes you forgetful (oops I forgot to eat my carbs). I just ate a giant chocolate chunk cookie and you just ruined it for me by telling me for the millionth time how bad sugar is for me. Meanwhile, let me drink some red wine so I can bring down my blood pressure. 

Let me not forget the ‘remedies’. How some fruit in South America cures cancer but the pharmaceutical companies don’t want you to know. If you catch a cold because you were dancing in the rain (hey the inspirational quote said that I should), then here’s a list of foods that will help you get rid of it. I honestly hate those trips to the grocery store.

And what’s the deal with ‘posting for an hour’. You know the ones that go ‘please post this on your timeline if you or someone you know has been bit by a mosquito anytime in your life etc etc’. And how they give you specific instructions to not ‘share’ but ‘copy and paste’. What the heck is that all about? If I don’t post it, will I get bit by a mosquito? If I share it instead of copy/pasting it, will I get malaria?

Let me not forget the spouses who wish each other a happy anniversary on Facebook. And to make it worse, share each other’s posts. He/she is sitting right in front of you and just because you’re seeking attention, I am going to ignore your post. I'm trying really hard to be nice but you're not helping. 

And all those pages that friends and friends of friends and family and family of friends create on Facebook that I feel compelled to Like. It’s just so complicated. 

While I’m a fairly regular Facebook user (half hour in the morning and evening), I get this feeling that I’m not going to last too much longer. I miss those days when people’s statuses would be about themselves. Even if it was stupid or mundane (because everyone can’t be clever and funny), it still made me feel like I was in touch with the person for a moment in my day. 

Can we start a campaign to get rid of the ‘Share’ button on Facebook?