When Sharing isn't Caring - A Facebook Story

It isn’t that old, but I’m going to reminisce about the good old days of Facebook, when there was no Share button. Yes my Facebook child, I’ve seen those days and they were pretty wonderful. 

The Share button basically is how we used to get spammed with Forward’s on email. I’m sure every one of you remembers those. Wake up each morning to a bunch of emails with jokes, inspirational quotes, why bananas and cucumbers are good for you, why you shouldn’t drink Coke (it’s always Coke and never Pepsi), 10 exercises that will give you 6 pack abs, 15 places to see in Bolivia, 20 ways to avoid getting diarrhea ... you get the gist. Basically those emails that you never read are now ‘shares’ on Facebook and even if I scan past them, I sort of know what they are about.

So now you have a picture of a girl who wants 10,000 shares and 1 million likes for her father who has cancer. How is that helping in treating the disease? And if I don’t share or like the picture, will her father get sicker? 

You have the person who shares a picture saying that if you have a parent/sibling/child/nephew/niece/neighbour’s dog that you love, you should let the world know. If I don’t share it, does it mean that I don’t love my neighbour’s dog? 

The vegetarian who tells you how awful you are because you’re eating meat. Yes I’m aware that a couple of days every week I turn into a monster.

The vegan who tells you that being vegetarian isn’t enough. Stop consuming dairy. Oh wait, I’m a monster every single day of my miserable existence.

The organic eater who tells me that I’m going to die. I already know that I’m going to die. Does this mean that I’m going to organic hell? 

The Inspirational Quote post-er(s), who tells me that I should be nice all the time (because being nice doesn’t mean I’m weak), forgive everyone I know, that I should be outside jumping in puddles while it’s raining, make others happy (because that in turn will make me happy and of course it’s eventually all about me), blah blah blah. Yeah I get it. I haven’t lost my memory that I need to be reminded every single day. 

The one(s) who are constantly saying that they are going to do whatever the hell they want regardless of what anyone else thinks. Do it, don’t post it. 

And then the one’s who change their diets based upon the latest studies. And want you to do the same. Eating carbs makes you fat (no carbs for me). Not eating carbs makes you forgetful (oops I forgot to eat my carbs). I just ate a giant chocolate chunk cookie and you just ruined it for me by telling me for the millionth time how bad sugar is for me. Meanwhile, let me drink some red wine so I can bring down my blood pressure. 

Let me not forget the ‘remedies’. How some fruit in South America cures cancer but the pharmaceutical companies don’t want you to know. If you catch a cold because you were dancing in the rain (hey the inspirational quote said that I should), then here’s a list of foods that will help you get rid of it. I honestly hate those trips to the grocery store.

And what’s the deal with ‘posting for an hour’. You know the ones that go ‘please post this on your timeline if you or someone you know has been bit by a mosquito anytime in your life etc etc’. And how they give you specific instructions to not ‘share’ but ‘copy and paste’. What the heck is that all about? If I don’t post it, will I get bit by a mosquito? If I share it instead of copy/pasting it, will I get malaria?

Let me not forget the spouses who wish each other a happy anniversary on Facebook. And to make it worse, share each other’s posts. He/she is sitting right in front of you and just because you’re seeking attention, I am going to ignore your post. I'm trying really hard to be nice but you're not helping. 

And all those pages that friends and friends of friends and family and family of friends create on Facebook that I feel compelled to Like. It’s just so complicated. 

While I’m a fairly regular Facebook user (half hour in the morning and evening), I get this feeling that I’m not going to last too much longer. I miss those days when people’s statuses would be about themselves. Even if it was stupid or mundane (because everyone can’t be clever and funny), it still made me feel like I was in touch with the person for a moment in my day. 

Can we start a campaign to get rid of the ‘Share’ button on Facebook?

Life, Lemons and Lemonade

Recently life gave me a bunch of lemons.

I was at my friend Ramji's farm outside of Auroville less than two weeks ago, and as we were touring the place, he asked me to help myself to the freshly fallen lemons from the trees. So with an (unused!) garbage bag in hand, I began collecting beautiful organic lemons. On the way Ramji even plucked me one of the best tasting papayas I've had in a very long while as well as a bunch of bananas.

I had a party planned for the day after I was returning back to Bangalore, where I was expecting approximately 35 guests. I had asked Rajesh, my man-Friday to buy some lemons/limes, which we would need for some of the items that were being served as well as the jugs full of cocktail that I would be making. Usually he buys fewer lemons than what I need and ends up having to run out for more. This time he did the opposite as a result of which I had a lemon filled kitchen and refrigerator. Although I had no idea what I would do with them, it still made me happy.

I love lemon tarts and lemon pies and lemon cup cakes. All I have to do is ask Rajesh to make them. How much easier does it get? Unfortunately I had promised myself that once the party was over, I was on a strict health regime. Regular work outs and no sweets. Too many holidays in the recent months had resulted in flabbier love handles and my pants being uncomfortably snug.

So yeah, desserts were out. It pains me even to write that as I salivate for excessive sugar filled treats, instead of settling for a bowl of organic granola that I picked up from the Auroville store. Somehow it just doesn't send the same signals to the part of the brain that is looking for a slice of decadent chocolate cake, maybe some pecan pie or the apple strudel cheesecake from Olive Beach that made my taste buds ecstatic. Dammit, I'd even settle for the chocolate eclair from Cafe Noir!

However, I digress here. Getting back to the lemons, I was still in a fix. Whoever said, 'If life gives you lemons, make lemonade' obviously wasn't thinking 'quantity'. I wasn't about to make myself a tub full of lemonade. After much deliberation, I decided that the only option was to pickle them. As much as I am into cooking, eating, feeding, I have never tried pickling. And never thought that I would. Even Jamie Oliver couldn't get me to watch his show about pickling for the winter months.

Strangely enough a couple of weeks ago, I had stumbled across a site that had an easy recipe for pickling lemons. Almost as if I had a premonition about the farm lemons. Once I got back home however, the site was not to be found. I even went through my web history but for the life of me, there was no such link. Had it been a dream? And if so, why in the world would I be dreaming about lemon pickle?

I knew that I had to take matters into my own hands and call my aunt who is famous for her pickles (among other treats). I asked her for the easiest lemon pickle recipe she had, bought myself a couple of jars and gave the instructions to Rajesh! This morning I woke up to find one of the jars filled with lemon wedges sitting in the balcony. It's a multi-part process and right now they're just soaking in the salt. I'll let you know how they turn out.

Moral of the story: When life gives you a lot of lemons, pickle 'em!