The Answer

A few minutes into a conversation with someone new, I get asked the proverbial question. The answer to this question could either be potential for conversing longer or could nip this possible new friendship/acquaintanceship in the bud. The question that, depending upon my state of mind or depending upon the person that’s asking, I could respond to in many different ways.

The question of course being, “So what do you do?”

Now we all know that the person with the inquiring mind wants to know what I do for a living. Not what my hobbies are or what I do in certain situations or even who it is I may be doing. He or she may as well be asking, “So where is the money coming from?”

It’s a perfectly reasonable question to ask when one is meeting someone for the first time. I myself have asked the same question innumerable times and got answers like “I work for Infosys” or “I’m a Systems Analyst” or some such thing. Since I live in Bangalore seven out of ten people I run into are working in the IT industry. Just like I used to. The other three are usually either working for an event management company, are healthcare professionals or are running their own business.

So getting back to the question that I have many responses to.

Response to the person I don’t care if I ever meet again.
“Nothing”
The person looks at me quizzically and repeats the word ‘nothing’ with a question mark at the end.
At this point I usually sigh and say, “Of course I do a lot of things but none of them pay me.”
And before the mouth opens again to form words, I say something to the effect, “I quit my job a while ago. Am trying to figure out what I want to do next.”
(Even though I’m actually done figuring out).

Response to the person I definitely never want to meet again.
“Nothing”
“Nothing?”
“Yeah nothing. Excuse me I need to use the restroom.”

Response to the person I’m messing with.
“I travel … and I read … and I’m a big movie buff …”
“No I mean where do you work?”
“Where’s the time for work when I’m doing all this other stuff?”
“So you don’t work?”
“I work out – does that count?”

Response to the person that loves to talk about money and possessions.
“I used to work in the IT profession.”
“And now?”
“Now I don’t. It’s been a while since I quit.”
“So what do you do now?”
“Nothing that pays me.”
“You’re kidding!”
“Dead serious.”
“Why would you quit? I bet you made a ton of money.”
“Wasn’t a good enough reason to keep working in a profession I had begun to hate.”
“So where does the money come from?”
“It doesn’t?”
“Are you rich?”
“It depends. How much money do I have to have to be rich?”
“So you have NO income?”
“Well, I lied. I have an apartment that I’ve rented out.”
“You couldn’t possibly live on that.”
“You couldn’t possibly know that.”
“How much were you making when you quit?”
At that point, I decide that I need to use the restroom. To barf.

Anyway, I decided that I’d had enough of these games. There was no way I wasn’t going to meet new people and there was no way I could stop them from asking me what I did. Especially when I know, what it is that I do. Even if it doesn’t bring me any money. As yet.

This morning I sat with my Macbook and designed myself a business card. After I was done with lunch, I drove over to the Printo by my place and had them print 96 of them. I think they look really snazzy.

The next time I get asked the question, I plan to reach into my pocket and hand out my new business card that says “Ratan Sethi, Writer”.