My New York Stories - Part I of many

Oftentimes I wonder what it’s all about. What is it that we’re supposed to be doing? Are we here for a reason? Is there someone that has real answers to these questions?

I knew very early in life that I couldn’t lead the ‘expected' life. Get an education, make a career, get married, have children, feed them, educate them, etc. etc. Obviously I have nothing against it, but I couldn’t see myself doing it. As a result I’m not highly educated, have never been ambitious, no wife, no kids! People always ask me “don’t you want to settle down”? And I think to myself “do I really seem unsettled?”

Of course my definition of being settled is quite different from the standard one.

In fact anytime I begin to feel 'settled' I want to do something unsettling! I’ve realized that I don’t like routine. I like surprises as long as they’re not the kind with people jumping out from behind the couch on my birthday. I want something unexpected (in a good way) to happen. Something that separates today from yesterday. And the day before. I also know that this is not going to happen unless I MAKE it happen.

As many of you know, I threw away a perfectly good job that paid me more than a fair amount, was close to home and did not require me to work long or weird hours – something most people would give their left arm for! I wasn’t sure what I was going to be doing next but checking out New York was in my radar. I was a little nervous about the move. It isn’t easy giving up a life of leisure and moving to a city that was completely unfamiliar and maybe a little intimidating. And THAT was precisely what made it exciting. Then there were the questions. Was I going to find a job that would allow me to live in the city? Was I going to be able to live in a tiny apartment after being in a more-than-modest-sized-one for a number of years? How was all the housework going to get done? Dinner would not be waiting for me at the table. My clothes would not magically get washed and more importantly, ironed. I couldn’t just be in the mood to eat something and it would get cooked. And in all probability I would have to actually work in my new job – something I had alienated myself from in the recent past!

Well, it’s all worked out so far. I consider myself extremely fortunate to be living the life I was so curious about. It’s said that ‘everyone should live in New York at some point of their lives’ and I couldn’t agree more. It truly is a unique city. The energy that this city exuberates cannot be replicated anyplace else. New York is almost its own country, a true cosmopolitan city that has brought together all the cultures of the world. It’s almost hard to believe that New York is a part of the US – it’s as different from the rest of the country as chalk and cheese.

Sometimes I wonder what I’m doing here. And other times I wonder if I’ve always been familiar with this life. I met someone at a dinner party recently who grew up in Connecticut and said that after living in New York for 6 years was finally beginning to feel like a ‘New Yorker’. I, on the other hand, felt like a New Yorker the day I moved in. There was something about this city that grabbed me instantly. It made me feel like this was also home. It was almost unreal, how comfortable I felt here. There wasn’t a 'settling in' (there we go again!) period, no 'getting used' to my new surroundings. It almost seemed like I had lived here in a previous life.

I eat out a lot. It definitely beats cooking although I do go through it a couple of times a week. I get my laundry done. I had a cleaning lady come clean once but it seemed like an awful amount of money for a miniscule apartment. So I clean. I hate mundane tasks. I miss all the help I had in Bangalore. But I don’t dwell on it because I have no idea how long I’m going to live here. I certainly don’t want to waste time feeling bad when I have so much to feel good about.

The other day someone I ran into (in small town America) said she was in New York a couple of weeks ago. She made a face and said "I hated it. It’s so dirty and crowded". This, coming from someone who has lived in Chennai all her life, not the cleanest and most sparsely populated city in the world. I almost wanted to slap her when she said that. How dare she say something derogatory about my city? Crowded yes – but dirty? Where was THAT coming from? I surprised myself because instead of just ignoring a comment (made by someone who completely overlooked everything that the city has to offer and only saw the superficial aspect), about a city that has more character than Meryl Streep in all her various movies, her remark made my blood boil.

More importantly it made me realize how close this city is to my heart. And how I will always be thankful that I’ve chosen to spend a portion of my life here. I have no idea what life is all about and what it is that I’m supposed to be doing here. I do however, know that at this moment, where I am feels SO right. Amen.